The best food jokes

If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be? Chocolate filled.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, celebrity, food, chocolate
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, food, sport, gym
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Vote: has 61.98 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, cat
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, food
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, animal
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, science, food, sex, wedding
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, food, insulting, money
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, food, insulting
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food