Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.