The best food jokes

Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
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A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
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What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange? A pip squeak.
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Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
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What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
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Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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More jokes about: animal, teacher, food