How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.