Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
What does an annoying pepper do? It get's jalapeño face
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza? Pizza doesn’t scream in the roaster!
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk