What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low? She thought it was diet coke.
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.