Benefits of having Alzheimer's:
You can wrap your own presents.
You are always meeting new friends.
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A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen...
Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?"
Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I'm lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him.
They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room.
In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there.
I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby.
I did so.
And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny.
"Let's play schools," said Jenny.
"OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
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Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.
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One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer.
His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted".
He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough."
His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?"
He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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I kind a feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
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