The best gay jokes

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.
Vote: has 59.61 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and placed the same order for drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Darn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, wife
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Vote: has 58.43 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
Vote: has 57.81 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, science
Q: Did you hear about the gay truckers? A: They exchanged loads.
Vote: has 57.64 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

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How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, gay
Why do so many gays have mustaches? To hide the stretch marks.
Vote: has 56.31 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!
Vote: has 56.04 % from 233 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, music
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote: has 55.83 % from 198 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, masturbation, animal, ugly, love