The best history jokes

“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
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More jokes about: kids, history
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
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More jokes about: school, history, math, religious