You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
You are so old, you fart dust.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it.