The best IT jokes

Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
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Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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