Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"