The best IT jokes

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. ‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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has 83.45 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
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has 83.13 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: IT
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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has 82.89 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
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has 82.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: IT
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
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has 82.32 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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has 82.28 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT, technology
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 82.17 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
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has 82.07 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: IT
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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has 82.06 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: IT
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
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has 81.92 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: IT
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