The best IT jokes

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 74.93 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: IT
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, programmer
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
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has 73.43 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama