The best IT jokes

Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: programmer, IT, coding, nerd, technology
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.16 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, marriage, computer, romantic, food
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, computer, IT, technology, celebrity
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, money, work
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, IT, stupid
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Vote: has 72.78 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, bar
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, celebrity, computer