The best jewish jokes

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
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has 69.46 % from 742 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
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has 67.25 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip. Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable. After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?" The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
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has 65.35 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: airplane, god, jewish, religious, travel
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 65.31 % from 427 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
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has 64.68 % from 326 votes. More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
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has 64.50 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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has 63.83 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: catholic, disgusting, jewish, wife
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.75 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
How do you tell when time is reversing? When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.
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has 63.38 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
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has 63.19 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid