Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.