Joke #10021

Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
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has 14.73 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
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has 79.52 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, blonde, dirty, geography
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch 'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here. Hm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
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has 54.05 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, lawyer
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
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has 81.95 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, women
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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has 32.71 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT