Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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