What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
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Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
A Shark alarm at Sydneys Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water except for three young boys who didn't hear the siren.
Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety.
He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece.
The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle.
As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, That was the most heroic thing
I've ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrows newspaper: Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!
Thanks. Smiles the fella, but I'm not an Aussie. I'm a British backpacker.
No worries, said the journalist with a frown, it'll still be front-page news.
The next day, the newspapers headline screamed, Pommy bastard kills boy's pet fish!
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!