Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king