What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely, The CAT
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!