What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
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What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
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Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?
Rabbit Hood.