Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
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What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
Why does the chicken is sad?
Because his dad is a cock.
Why does the chicken is even more sad?
Because he faces the same future.
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He has got no beef.
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay!
Okay!
I'm a rabbit!
I'm a rabbit!"
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent.
I got a cat the other day.
I had to swerve, but I got it.
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.