Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines. They have footprints.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.