How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
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What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey.
They thought they would have some fun with him.
"Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers.
"You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?"
"Sure am," said the boy.
"If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.