How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!