If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Save the tree, eat a beaver.
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why was the lion-tamer fined? He parked on a yellow lion.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.