Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.