A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door.
He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper.
There was another knock, so he opened the door again.
This time, he looked down and saw a small snail.
"Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said.
The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading.
A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail.
"What'd you do that for?"
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".