Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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