Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: Boo-bees.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!