How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"