What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
Q. What did the frog say to the fly? A. You are really starting to bug me!
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Q. How does a frog confuse you? A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.