Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.