Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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