Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.