If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.