If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.