Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.