Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier. In half.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.