Which rabbit is a famous comedian?
Bob Hop.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree.
He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.
"Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground.
The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on"
"Ok, got it." the homeowner replied.
"But whats that shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow chow.
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.