Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.