Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: She liked kids...
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.