Why did the rabbits go on strike?
They wanted a better celery.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''.
I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff!
I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)