The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too Late!
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.