Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
What’s a black spot between two white spots? A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG