Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked.
"Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically.
"But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice.
And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches.
But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Vote:
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's herd.
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!