When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.