Joke #10468

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, dog, death, animal
The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
Vote: has 79.74 % from 298 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel, car
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, game
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, work
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? " The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull... With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs... "Your badge... Show him your badge!"
Vote: has 84.60 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, drug, life, animal