The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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