Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.