Joke #10511

What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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has 20.71 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist, white people
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 75.54 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop